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How to Get a Girlfriend in College

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If you find yourself in college and you cannot get a girlfriend, it is little wonder as to why you would start to feel down about things. Let me tell you, that you are definitely not alone in your situation. In fact, most guys in college aren’t getting laid left and right, though, they’d tell you BS stories that would indicate otherwise. Judging by the traffic I get to this website, there are plenty of guys that are in the same boat as you. On a college campus, there are virgins, guys who get girls here and there, guys who are locked down in relationships, and then usually an elite number of guys who are the players. Obviously, if you’re in the first group, it would be beneficial to move into one of the other three (hopefully lock down with a girlfriend isn’t too bad). Though the question begs, how do you go about getting a girlfriend in college if you’ve never had one?  Fear not. In this post, I want to break down the social scene, and help you see a path to getting girls in college.  Remember, as always, the ultimate goal in this site is to improve yourself first and foremost, girls are secondary, though, can be a welcome addition to your life.

Do You Even Want a ‘Girlfriend’?

A huge problem for many guys it seems, is that they really don’t know what they want, in the context of their relationships with women. There are no doubt some of you reading this now who want nothing more than to hook up with a ton of chicks, no strings attached. That’s fine and dandy, however, your lack of experience can certainly blind you to how dirty ‘the game’ can be. Others among this group of readers, may be completely committed to finding a girl for marriage as soon as possible, after a long courting process. Once again, your youth and inexperience can blind you to all the downsides to serious relationships, especially those undertaken at a young age. Your tastes and attitudes towards life will in all likelihood change completely in the next ten years or so, which makes it a dangerous proposition to get entangled in marriage early on in life. It is generally a good idea to get more experience under your belt, after all there are jobs or other pursuits to consider before settling down.

Whatever path you choose, be aware of the pros and cons of each. Perhaps, it would be a better idea to not go overboard on either option, but undertake a third way which lets you play the field but still enjoy a few more serious girlfriends as good matches come along. I’m not going to tell you what to do in terms of your romantic entanglements, but I want to emphasize, that you should start to figure out what you want with your relationships, to help save a lot of pain and possibly heartache.

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GAME WITHOUT GAMES: TRANSCENDING PICKUP ARTISTRY AND PURSUING ATTRACTION THROUGH CONSCIOUS PERSONAL GROWTH 

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 GAMEWITHOUTGAMES

Exploring the world of dating and so-called Pick-up Artistry, through the lens of the mind. Game without Games, from attractyourdevelopment.com, eschews traditional pickup advice and gets down to the core concepts of self including: fear, truth, connection, and desire. Taken from the author’s own personal experience in approaching, attracting, and dating women from age eighteen through his twenties, this book strips away all of the tips and tactics of the PUA community. Instead, this book focuses on personal development and cultivating what the ancient Stoic philosophers referred to as the internal.

With a greater inner strength and by focusing on developing one’s life in totality, attraction occurs naturally by becoming a ‘desirable man’. Game then is about expressing of oneself and exploring who she is, instead of trying to remember lame pick-up lines or tricks and tactics to get laid. Things become natural and flow from the relaxed and confident state of the man. He has control of his mental faculties and thus can accept life and social interactions on his own terms. Not chasing women or putting up with disrespect or other nonsense.

If you want to learn how to talk to girls, in a step by step format…go elsewhere. However, if you want to explore the mental side of game and the letting go of pickup dogma, Game without Game might be the book for you.

 

 

Excuses, Excuses…Shut Up and Dictate your Own Life

The next thing that you must come to terms with is your own mental limitations. These are the negative thought patterns which you run back in your mind over and over again. Such as, “I’m a loser. I’ll never have a girlfriend.”, “I have no friends and nobody likes me.”, “I can’t get a girlfriend because I don’t live on campus.” Blah, Blah, Blah…

When I first went to college, I didn’t live on campus either. In fact, I was a commuter student, and lived at home 20-30 minutes away from school. Secondly, I really didn’t know anyone there. While seemingly everyone else lived around campus or in the dorms and could thus meet plenty of people each day, I had to make a concerted effort to do so. Plus, I worked a job, 20-40 hours per week depending on my class schedule. Guess what? I still got girls. Perhaps not as many as I could have, had I been in a more optimal situation, but I still made it happen. That’s a trifecta of sucky circumstance, not having a place of my own, working, and having limited ability to meet new people. The point is, that you shouldn’t make excuses, you can’t always control circumstance but you can always try to plan around it. You may never be a guy who gets dozens of women but you can sure as hell get one at least.

Another thing I would like to say about dating girls in college has to do with standards (also see: Do You Have Standards?). Do you currently not have a girlfriend because your standards are too high? Being selective isn’t a bad thing but don’t complain that it is difficult, when you significantly narrowed your options. Also, if your standards are that high, what have you done to make yourself live up to high standards? Don’t be boring, overweight, dress like a slob, shy, nervous, and then get upset when the hotties don’t flock to you, as you have done little to broaden your appeal. Be aware that there are girls in college who can’t get dates either, I guarantee, that one of those girls would date you. The only thing holding you back is your own standards. If you’re unwilling to date those girls you consider ugly, then you must improve your level of attractiveness to the ones you want, and quit crying because you don’t have a girlfriend.  You are stopping you, not society.

Other Helpful Posts:

Thou Wilt be Social

If you’re reading this, I’m going to venture a guess, and say that you suck socially. It’s okay, you may suck at basketball too, but much like basketball skills, social skills can be developed. The social aspect is usually the biggest hindrance to guys who can’t seem to get a girlfriend. Sure, there are guys who have fairly large social circles and are just terrible at one on one interaction with a girl, but the majority just plain suck at every level socially.

Keep in mind though, you’re not broken and you’re not a loser, you just need to put in more work than some other people. It is also a process; you will oscillate between improvements and setbacks socially. I remember during my bout with depression, how poorly I did socially, mostly because I felt like I couldn’t do anything. The worst thing about it, is that I cost myself a year (socially and academically), and this was after I had already enjoyed success with women. I remember meeting girls during that time, who would flirt with me and I was just so unhappy about life, I didn’t care (I’ll write more about this in another post). The point being, that getting better at things like being social is never a straight line. There are always periods where you feel like things are pointless and you doubt yourself, but not moving forward will make you miss the good times.

If you really can’t get a girlfriend and you have identified your social standing as the main reason why, then this is the first area I would focus on, even above getting girls.  A majority of having game in college involves sociability and being a connecter socially. There are definitely guys out there who are fantastic at picking up girls in bars and clubs because they’ve worked on that aspect but may be totally lost in a college atmosphere due to the fact that they cannot build a social circle worth a damn.

 

The keys to meeting a lot of people in college are to participate and offer value. The truth of the matter is that a ton of people you meet are not going to be what you would term a close friend, most are acquaintances that you’ll will have shared experiences with at parties or events. That’s really not a bad thing either, as you’ll achieve a good balance, having a core group of close knit friends and a wide variety of people you can kick it with on occasion. Plus, you’ll have the opportunity to meet a lot of girls you would never have otherwise met, if you had stayed within your own close knit circle due to the multiplier effect.

Let me give you an example of leveraging acquaintances using the multiplier effect. Say, you head to a party with one of your close friends. You may be looking your best and be in a good mental flow, but what if you don’t know anyone at this party and your friend doesn’t either? Well, you’re at a distinct disadvantage because you’re not verified socially. Meaning, you have to work that much harder to work the room and vie for the attention of the girls in the surrounding environment. Not saying you won’t get girls, but why make something more difficult?

However, let’s say you go to a party and now you have a few acquaintances around along with your friend. Now, the playing field has been elevated a bit. Each acquaintance, will usually have a few friends with them that will be introduced to you, and as long as you can be basically social, the base of people you know has been expanded and can be leveraged. Let me explain,

  1. Girls you may eventually date can often start out as friends of friends, so by ever expanding your social circle, your options increase.
  2. Some social verification happens for people at the party. There is a huge difference between flying solo and having multiple interactions with different groups. Girls tend to notice social guys and even if you barely know the people you’re talking to, it gives off the illusion of social acceptance and hence makes her more comfortable with you.
  3. College is a highly social environment. Everybody wants to meet new people, especially girls. If you’re a guy who knows lots of people and can introduce her to them, you’ll be golden.

I can’t stress enough how important it is for guys to focus first on being social, even before learning any ‘game’ to pick up women. Time is a huge factor in getting women, lots of hook-ups can happen in just one night, but plenty more relationships developed over time. It’s pretty easy to spend time with a girl, if you run in the same social circles. If you can make yourself a desirable man, lots of opportunities present themselves with girls in your social circle or with their friends.

Here’s more on that: How to Start a Conversation with a Girl at a College Party

Okay, so I can’t teach you every aspect of being social in this post, it would be tens of thousands of extra words long. Plus, most of what you learn socially is through direct practice, so reading would only get you so far. In this next section, I want to cover some places you can start to expand your social circle in college.

Groups

There are dozens of interest, political, social, and academic groups on college campuses. If you know what’s good for you socially, you will use them! I joined plenty of groups and even with the ones I wasn’t all that actively engaged in, I still ended up seeing some benefits. One of the best benefits was that, girls who were also involved in whatever group I was, would see me at a social event or bar and come up to chat with or hug me, and introduce their friends to me. Not bad, considering that I still barely knew any of these girls, but because we were in a group together, I was accepted by them quickly. Student groups are always a friendly, low-key atmosphere, in which there is no pressure to perform like if you were trying to pick up girls at the bar. Use groups to participate in things you enjoy with other people and also to push your boundaries and develop new interests, getting girls often follows as a result.

What are some good options?

Co-ed Sports

Seriously. Find a club team that is open to both men and women or participate in campus tournaments and leagues. Lots of schools have club swim teams or co-ed volleyball or fitness clubs. They’re all great options to both stay in shape and interact with girls you already have a shared interest with. Find sports you want to learn or might already be interested in. Being a part of a team, creates close bonds very quickly, as you are all working towards the same goal and see one another a few times per week.

Volunteer Work

I was involved in a volunteer organization for a time on campus, because helping people was something that was really starting to resonate with me. As an added bonus, I was only one of two guys in that group, and those are odds I like.

Fraternities

Not for everyone but they’re not all as they are always portrayed. Some guys are clowns, no matter what circumstances they find themselves in. Other fraternity guys are friendly and cool as hell to hang out with. I rushed a fraternity and got a bid, only, I couldn’t accept due to the fact that I had destroyed my GPA by that point.  However, this path, has a built in social network that will guarantee to give you the opportunity to meet plenty of people. Though, it should be noted, you won’t get laid just because you’re in a fraternity, you still have to work on attracting girls.

Gym

Although I’ve graduated from college, I still reside in the same city, and use the campus gym to work out because I get a huge discount as an alumni. The funny thing is, I still meet people at the gym and get recognized by current students. Lifting weights or playing basketball, I have seen the same guys over and over again, and as usually happen, you eventually start talking to these people and gain even more acquaintances. Try joining exercise classes or regularly playing pick-up basketball and you will meet plenty of people that you may hang out with.

Alright, I think you get the point about groups. Go out and participate. Don’t try to force your way into cliques, simply be social and learn these basic skills. Some guys make the mistake of trying to learn pick-up lines or some other form of gaming girls and try to utilize these tools to bypass the social scene in college. This is a bad idea because in a college community, word will get around that you’re a weird or creepy guy, which is no fun. What guys need to realize, is that women manifest themselves in your life simply as a byproduct of being social. This is because it allows you to demonstrate your natural attractive qualities and lets the girls who may like you enter your world.

How Do You Get A Girl in Class?

This is one of the biggest questions guys have. The hot girls, you never really see around campus, but have class with. It’s tough to answer in step by step specific terms because there is some much variance in possible situations. I got girls from class (English classes seemed to work really well for some reason) and even dated one for almost a year. All I ever did was to sit next to whatever girl I found attractive and simply talk to her throughout the semester. Not much practical help, is it?  I’m sorry but the best ‘game’, that I’ve found that works with women, is to have no game. All of the people saying , “Just be yourself.”, all of these years turned out to be correct, the concept behind it has just been misunderstood.

I will say that the majority of how women become attracted to you starts with your mental state. There is an inner strength and certainty that must be tapped into (I wrote about this in detail here: How to Build Confidence Around Women). I don’t want to go into too much detail here, as I have done so repeatedly on this site, but I will have your dating options explode once you figure out how to apply them to your life.

  1. Be a man of certainty. Both in yourself but also your values in life. As a man, you have all of the tools you need in life at your disposal, some of these tools just need to be sharpened and enhanced. This doesn’t mean be a cocky prick, it means that you carry yourself with a quiet confidence, as you recognize the only thing you truly have control over is your own faculties and decision making. Let go of all the negative talk and ego protection. Also, recognize a girl will not make you happy, you must find your own happiness from within. (Dealing with Approach Anxiety)
  2. Be relaxed. This stems from the first point, as once you’re confident that you as a man are already complete, most petty worries seem to float away. Girls are great at picking up on body language and when you relax, they relax, and that is highly important.
  3. Openness. Being open doesn’t mean sharing every intimate detail about yourself. It means presenting yourself without a front. Stop trying to impress her or act cool. Be genuine.
  4. Be funny. Laughter is a very contagious and attractive form of expression. Girls love guys who are funny. Don’t force jokes just to entertain her and impress her, do it if it is a part of your personality and a true expression of self.
  5. Indifference. Understand that any girl can be gotten and also gotten rid of. This doesn’t mean cold and distant, you are still open and engaging as a man BUT, you dictate the terms of your life whether she is there or not. You don’t allow your sexual desire to be taken advantage of and you don’t accept mistreatment simply for the luxury of having a girlfriend. You are willing to walk away from any girl, no matter how attractive, if things are not right. Some women don’t like the results this yields for them but they all respect this in a man.
  6. Initiative. Take the reins of your life and make decisions about what you want. If you want to talk to a girl, talk to her! You don’t have to ‘pick her up’ or close the deal on the first night but take an interest in her.

Those are some of the most important traits to have as a man in order to be attractive. If you can develop a solid and confident sense of self, you will be so far ahead of the game and most of the rest of getting girls is just meeting them and figuring out logistics. There is also the matter of your physical presentation, perception does matter in terms of attraction. It’s not hard to have good hygiene and a bit of style, here are some posts to help:

I hope that I’ve provided some basic insight into getting a girlfriend in college. This post, is by no means a complete guide, however, there is plenty of information on this site to help put it all together. So much of actually attracting girls is giving yourself a chance to meet plenty of them, having complete confidence as a man, and sharpening your social skills. Sitting in your dorm room or apartment, watching adult films or playing video games, isn’t going to produce results.  The girl isn’t going to fall out of the sky. Get your shit straight, improve, have fun, be yourself, and the girls will follow.

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Get a Body Like Christian Bale in American Psycho: Diet and Workout

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Christian Bale takes his roles very seriously, as can be heard on the tape of his famous rant on the set of one of his movies.  As a part of the serious nature of his craft, Bale will often have to undergo serious physical changes to get into the role of a character. In the Batman movies, he bulked up to a more muscular weight in order to play the superhero. What is interesting is that before the first Batman movie he had a role in The Machinist that required him to get down to a dangerously low weight and he then had to pack a ton of mass on for the role of Bruce Wayne. In 2000, Bale starred as Patrick Bateman, in the movie American Psycho. American Psycho was a novel by the writer Bret Easton Ellis about a wealthy serial killer.  In that film, Bale had a physique that was quite impressive, though smaller than he had to be in the later Batman movies. To get a body like Christian Bale in American Psycho, it takes plenty of work but following the right workout routine and diet it is very doable.

Hollywood actors when preparing for a role have all of the advantages at their disposal. First, they have the time to train hard and recover. They have access to fantastic trainers and they also can eat whatever food is prepared for them by a chef. While yes, that is the ideal training circumstances, most of us don’t have that luxury so it will take a bit longer and a bit more dedication to get the Patrick Bateman look than it did for Mr. Bale. So how can we get an American Psycho physique?

Diet

The absolute most important aspect of changing your body whether you are trying to shed extra far or pack on muscle mass is diet.  Exercise alone will produce some results, especially if you currently don’t do any, BUT your results in the medium to long run will suffer. Simply put, if you’re diet isn’t on point you will not achieve the body you want. Especially, not one like Mr. Bale’s.

If you’re like me, you’ve been bombarded by so many different crazy diet ideas and various do’s and don’ts of getting into shape, that it just gets confusing. What I eventually started doing and what got me the best results, was to break things down to the basics. I came to understand that I didn’t always have to eat perfect but I did have to change the way I ate. Here is a cool video from trainer Rusty Moore on changing the way you think about calories to lose weight:

 

 

Like I said above, I like to keep my diet basic and simply alter certain things to help meet my goals. If I want to gain muscle, I add more calories (slowly) and more protein to my daily intake. If I want to lose fat, I will cut calories (again, slowly, by a few hundred each week and adjust as needed) and I will also cycle my carbohydrates.

There have been a lot of advocates over the years for following a strictly low carb diet to get into shape or lose fat fast. You can shed a lot of weight going low carb and it’s a method bodybuilders use to ‘cut’ before contests (very special cirumstances) Going low carb does produce results, however, it does have some drawbacks that I absolutely hated when I tried this method:

  • Completely tired for the first week and feel hungry because of the lack of carbs.
  • Ended up losing too much muscle mass.
  • The weight came back fast as soon as I stopped.
  • Looked skinny and flat, not muscular and ripped.

Not cool, right?

Experimenting with low carb diets did however lead me to the idea of carb cycling for fat loss. Essentially, on certain days you eat more carbs and on other days you go low carb. For me, the best method was to go higher carbohydrates on workout days and low carb on my two rest days each week. That way, I could match my carbohydrates to my activity level and have all the energy I needed to get through the tough workouts.

I laid my complete diet out in this post, with sample meal plans for both high carb and low carb days.

Keep it basic, basic, basic! Here are the simple diet rules I follow any time I need to burn fat:

-No Fast food or sweets

-Low Sugar

-On low carb days substitute grains for greens. Also, bump up the protein and fat intake.

-Stay away from liquid calories. Water and skim milk (on high carb days for protein shakes) are what I will be drinking.

-Stay away from heavily processed foods

That’s it. Pretty simple stuff. Those rules alone gets the ball rolling and from there I only need to adjust certain things, if I feel my results are getting stagnant. Diet doesn’t have to be a miserable experience!

Workout

How you will train depends on your current physique. There are at the most basic level, two paths you can follow, bulking (gaining muscle mass) or cutting (losing fat).

If you’re currently skinny: You should put on muscle mass and then cut down the bit of fat you will gain. More weight lifting, less cardio, More calories.

If you’re currently overweight: You should work on shedding that fat. Of course, you would still lift weights and gain muscle (to some extent) but ramp up the cardio and change the diet.

Weights

Weight training is essential for building muscle, if you just do cardiovascular workouts, you will lose fat but just up being skinny. Remember, in American Psycho, Christian Bale had a muscular foundation and a low body fat percentage.

I like to do 3-5 days per week of weight training. Scheduling each muscle group to ensure the maximum amount of rest and recovery. Remember, that more isn’t always better, your muscles need to rest in order to grow.

Here are some great resources for weight lifting:

Cardio

When you have a significant amount of fat to lose, diet is a major factor in trimming down. Sometimes, though, diet isn’t enough and cardio exercise is needed to get really sharp. It can take a lot of experimentation to figure out what kind of cardio works best for fat loss.

Some people advocate doing slow, steady-state cardio exercise. This would be walking on the treadmill for an hour. Or doing 30 minutes on an elliptical machine at a moderate pace. Is it good for fat loss? Sure. Is it optimal? Well, not every day.

Other people swear by doing high intensity interval training (HIIT). I’ve had success with this method as well but it wasn’t always enough to completely shed all the fat for me.

Nowadays, my cardio workouts come from three options:

1. Basketball

2. Gym Cardio

3. Home Workouts

I have to admit, basketball is my favorite of the bunch but it is hell on the joints. Now, you might be asking isn’t gym cardio, just a treadmill? Well, yes, a treadmill and any other piece of gym equipment you prefer (I like the elliptical and exercise bike, myself). The difference is the specific program I use to help melt the fat off of my body as quickly as possible. When I don’t have access to a gym, I use another program for my workout purposes that I have found to be completely effective as well. Just two different methods depending on what equipment I have at my disposal.

The Best Cardio Workout Plan for the Gym

Rusty Moore (the guy from the video I posted above), has an awesome cardio workout program called, Visual Impact Cardio. It is designed to teach people how to ‘master the skill of losing body fat’. It’s a pretty neat skill to have as well. Included in the ebook are three separate programs for beginners, advanced, and one for special occasions when you really want to be ripped (beach trips, photo shoots).

In this program, you get to use whatever piece of cardio equipment you prefer, the difference is Rusty lays out specifically how long, how intense, and what to do differently in each workout. Let me tell you, it can get pretty damned intense at times. I have reviewed the program here but I’ll give you the benefits in bullet points:

    • No more guess work. Specific workouts you can tailor to your own fitness level.
    • Intense workout to help build stamina and endurance.
    • 3 separate, 8 week cycles, which can be repeated and modified as you get stronger.
    • The reasoning behind everything is explained in simple, easy to understand terms.
    • Can be downloaded instantly, you start right away.
    • Fairly inexpensive at $47. Hell, that’s about what it costs for one measly session with many personal trainers.

Click Here to Check Out Visual Impact Cardio

 

Best at Home Cardio Workout

I own Insanity: The Asylum from Beachbody and actually just got done with a workout prior to writing this post (Vertical Plyo is no joke).  Asylum is more than a mere cardio workout and is best suited for those with a solid workout experience. Beginners would best be served by the original Insanity.

Asylum is an athletic training program that includes jumping, cardio, speed, agility, and strength training. Quite frankily, it’s a great overall workout program. I just happen to mostly use it as an extra cardio resource since I like to lift at the gym on most days. However, if you’re the type who like to workout at home, Asylum is worth a look. Here are some of the benefits:

  • Step by step instruction and motivation from Shaun T.
  • Program is laid out and easy to follow.
  • Challenging and can be really fun once you’re into it.
  • Save a bunch of money versus a gym membership each month.
  • Minimal equipment needed. Dumbbells or resistance bands is it. Everything else is included.

Click Here to Try Asylum with a 30 Day Money Back Guarantee

 

Getting a body like Christian Bale in American Psycho is most definitely a challenge for the average guy. However, if you have a plan of attack and focus on diet, weights, and cardio, the results will come. Adjust things as progression occurs and keep challenging your body in different ways. There are plenty of resources available online to help guide you along but having a plan laid out can save you a lot of time, energy, and lackluster results towards getting the body you want. Whatever path you choose, learn to be consistent and not give up after a few weeks. Results in fitness are mostly about sticking with it over time, you don’t have to be perfect and you shouldn’t expect to be but you can most certainly. keep at it.

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Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend Fast: Tips to Move On

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She may have been your first love, she may have cheated on you, or she may be seeing someone else immediately after the break up. Hell, maybe it’s all three in your situation. It’s rough, I know and it’s something that every guy has to deal with. Break ups are the price you pay for stepping on to the dating field and some of those relationships just sting way more than others. It’s not necessarily about ‘forgetting’ your ex-girlfriend (although you will hardly ever think about her at some point), it’s more about how you will move on and get over the current pain and heartache you are feeling. Letting go of this girl is the only way you can get on with your life and have a happy future because if you clutch to the past (and it is the past now!), you’ll be stuck there mentally and it’s never really the happiest place to be. With that in mind I want to present some tips to you about how to get over your ex fast. These are some of the things that I have done after old relationships ran their course and I needed to get myself out of that crappy mindset. Also, I’m going to link other relative posts that I have written, that go into greater detail and should prove helpful…so read up on those as well.

 

An important thing to understand after a break up is that although your ego and pride is hurt right now, you value is not determined by a relationship. If she broke up with you, yes, you probably have some fault in it. Sometimes, you simply grow apart and can’t keep going on the same path together. If she cheated, maybe the other guy excited her in some way that you didn’t. At your core, however, none of this should ultimately affect how you view yourself. I wrote about this before (How to Have Confidence with Women) but I want to reiterate that if you are dependent on external validation you will always end up miserable. Meaning, if you feel like you ‘can’t’ get over your ex-girlfriend, it is because you placed your feeling happy on her and her actions. As such, because you weren’t truly happy and content on your own, you’ve developed an addiction to the way she makes you feel. Once she took that away, your mood went into the toilet. Anyhow, you now find yourself in this situation, so I will tell you how I’ve personally gone about getting over my own past relationships.

 

Take Some Time to Just Feel Bad

During the initial period after the breakup it is perfectly normal to feel bad about it. Embrace the pain and let yourself feel it for at least some period of time. It is hard to move on from something if you never accept it or just try to numb or ignore it. Do what you got to do but don’t involve her in it on any level. So, if you’re lying in bed and allowing yourself to experience those emotions, keep your phone or other device away from you. You don’t want to get caught up in emotions and start to think about sending her a message or begging for her to come back. It might be a good idea to consider putting some amount of time aside each day, where you can be alone and just feel bad about your ex-girlfriend not being there. At least for a little while. (See: Deal with Loneliness after A Break Up)

Don’t Let the Sadness Wallow

The first tip was to allow you to really feel the pain and sadness, so that you can accept it and move on. However, this does not mean that you are going to stay in that mode forever. In fact, if you stay in that mode, you’ll end up being one of those sad old guys pining for the one that got away instead of going forward in your life and meeting new women.  Focusing on the sad is good for accepting that things are different now but it also will put you in a negative mindset, which sucks long-term. What I like to do is to start setting aside time, where I can feel positive energy for at least a little while each day. I might read some articles to help me cope, listen to motivational podcasts or speeches, go for a walk, lucid dream, or just go to the gym and tear it up. It seems like a little thing, but having some amount of positive time each day, can really help to point you back in the right direction.

Stop Idealizing the Relationship

It might have been a great relationship, she may have been your first love, but it’s over now. All failed relationships had some kind of problem, whether you were aware of them or not. Maybe she needed to go in a different direction in her life. Accept that as her choice. You can remember the good times but don’t idealize them. She wasn’t perfect, as great as you think she was. If you know that she cheated or she treated you poorly, this is especially important, to get rid of that notion that she was some sort of angel, she wasn’t. I know it can feel like she’s the only one for you…the truth is she isn’t. I’ve felt that way about girls too and you know what? Other girls came along and were either better or worse than the previous one but they all served a purpose in my life. Understand that you will have lots of relationships in life, if you so choose, but no matter how great they are, time passes and things change and that relationship can end as quickly as it began. (Signs a Relationship is Over)

Happiness for You

Dependency is what makes you no longer feel happy because she is gone. Like I said earlier, if your happiness is dependent on external influences and not rooted within yourself, then it’s just a matter of time before things go awry. Relationships should enhance your life experience, not become a dependency that brings you down into a long funk or depression. Focus on making yourself more secure and content within your own life, girls will always be around, but if you’re not happy with you why would anyone else be? (Understanding the Journey)

You Can’t Help Her Feelings towards You

Your ex-girlfriend is a person with her own thoughts and feelings. You cannot totally control whether you get back together or not (see: Do You Really Want Your Ex-Girlfriend Back?). Acting pitiful by calling or messaging her all the time is either going to gain you her disgust or her pity. Things have changed and in most cases these changes cannot be undone, yes, occasionally there is a reconciliation but even most of those don’t work out. The feelings you once had for each other are different now, at least on her part, so understand and accept that but don’t whine to her about it.

Bitterness is a Stinky Cologne

Is she seeing someone else? Pisses you off, right? Why should it? Don’t let your ego control your emotions. Stop the comparisons to the other guys that she will inevitably date and sleep with. You are not in competition with them. Women are not a scarce resource, let go and realize that there are literally billions of them to meet and possibly date. If she cheated on you, she certainly broke your trust, but is holding a grudge going to make anything better? Isn’t it great that you found out she was untrustworthy so that you don’t waste any time on her in the future? As bad as it sounds, she did you a favor by revealing her true nature. Now you’re free to explore any number of options or opportunities with other women who will fit what you want your life to be like. If you remove the idea of competition towards her or the other guys she is dating then it is pretty hard to feel upset about it. You haven’t necessarily lost anything, it is merely a change, a chance to set a new course. This is reality, so stop living in your bitter fantasies.

Learn from This and Move On

Life lessons can be painful but they serve a purpose. What have you learned from this experience? Perhaps, this will make you more selective with the women or type of relationship you want. Maybe you have learned that not all relationships (most won’t) work out in the end. Change and break ups are a part of life, you lose people and other things, and then you gain other people for a time. It’s just the way this whole thing works. You probably made plenty of mistakes, recognize them, and don’t do it again in the future. (How to Get a Girlfriend in College)

No Contact Rule

I just wrote a whole post on this topic, so I’ll keep this section brief. It is hard to move on from someone if you are in contact with them every single day. Stop calling and texting them when you don’t need to, she isn’t your girlfriend anymore! How do you expect to move on from someone if you are constantly trying to engage them in conversation? Now, you might have no choice in the matter, and you have to see her for some reason. That’s fine. Be friendly and keep the interactions as short as possible, whatever her reaction towards you is. If she’s acting childish, let her do that, but don’t stoop to her level. Brush it off. You keep an even keel, throughout this process around her, don’t let her bother you and don’t you act like a bitter child either. This is part of the healing process, sometimes you just need space away from the person to get over them. Yes, it hurts, there is naturally a withdrawal period because of that dependence you’ve built on them but you must go through it in order to get to the other side.

Here are the quick bullet points for getting over your ex-girlfriend:

  • Allow yourself to feel bad (for at least a short period)
  • Just don’t wallow in the sadness and let it keep you down.
  • Don’t remember the relationship as better than it actually was.
  • Learn to be truly happy with yourself, she can enhance your life, not complete it.
  • Her feelings are her feelings
  • Stop being bitter
  • Learn life lessons from the experience and move on
  • No contact helps you with clarity about what actions to take

If You Still Want Her Back After This….

This is my personal process for getting over a girl. Once I feel, I’ve accomplished these steps, I generally like to start completely fresh. However, some guys find that even after they’ve prepared themselves emotionally to move on and had other women in their lives, they still believe that she was the right fit for them.

If it’s the case that you’re in a good spot emotionally and you still feel like she is the one, perhaps you consider a program to help rekindle things between the two of you. The Magic of Making Up is a full ebook program designed to assist in mending broken relationships. Over 50,000 people have given it a try, visit here to read successful user testimonials and further information about making up with your ex. Here is a brief  video presentation from the book’s author:

 

Conclusion

It does take time to get over an ex-girlfriend but you will do so if you take the steps toward growth and moving on to the next chapter of your life. If you wallow and constantly make yourself sad about a situation, then you’ll be haunted by it for years and your life will stagnate and eventually worsen as a result. You must accept and embrace change in your life, that sort of make lemonade out of the lemons that life gives you.  Ultimately, you are the one who decides how you feel about yourself and your life, and if you accept that it sucks then that’s all it ever will be. Believe me, you have the power to change your life for the better and time will heal old wounds but you must be willing to go through the process.

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Best Smelling Perfumes for Women: Top Sellers and Fragrances for Your Girlfriend

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The holiday season is upon us and whether you’re a guy who is looking for a gift for his girlfriend or a woman who has stumbled onto this page, fragrances make great stocking stuffers. The right perfume can make any woman more attractive and when purchasing a scent it is important to consider her own lifestyle and personal style. There are thousands and thousands of fragrances out there which smell great and others are just flat out terrible (but there are always people who seem to enjoy them) and amongst the masses it can be difficult to choose the right one for you or that special someone. A perfume should be subtle, unique, sexy but not overpowering, something that commands attention and makes people want to draw closer. In essence, it should encompass all that a woman wants to present herself as. In this post, I want to cover the best-selling perfumes on the market as well as some of the best smelling eau de parfums for women. With all these types of fragrances listed you should have no trouble finding the perfect scent.

Also check out:

 

What are the Best-Selling Perfumes for Women?

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Angel by Thierry Mugler (Sample size available)- Vanilla, sandalwood, and patchouli with other notes consisting of aromatic fruits. Angel is one of the most popular fragrances for women on the market and for good reason.

Euphoria by Calvin Klein– Calvin Klein is known for having great unisex scents and this one is no exception. A sexy and versatile fragrance that can be used for any occasion.

Light Blue by Dolce & Gabbana– Love the men’s version of Light Blue. Dolce & Gabbana always seems to create beautiful fragrances.

Lolita Lempicka (Available in a mini EDT for under $10)- Unique, clean, and not overpowering.

Burberry Brit by Burberry(Available in a mini EDT)- I have tried a few Burberry cologne’s myself including Burberry Brit for men. Obviously, the women’s fragrance is a different scent but Burberry always has amazing fragrances.

Pink Sugar– This inexpensive fragrance has a sweet yet sexy smell to it. Great for those on a budget.

Oscar by Oscar de la Renta– A classy, more mature fragrance with notes of basil, jasmine, lavender, and sandalwood.

Bright Crystal by Versace– A sweet, flowery fragrance that will gather complements.

Opium by Yves Saint Laurent– I have this in the men’s cologne and it’s a nice, soft fragrance with a hint of spice to it.

Burberry– Another Burberry entry.

Diva by Ungaro– A woodsy fragrance that seems to have similar notes to some men’s fragrances yet still retains its femininity.

What are the Best Smelling Fragrances for Women?

Chanel No. 5– The classic perfume. May work best for older women, but it smells great, and has been around for the longest time.

Marc Jacobs Daisy– Pretty expensive scent. However, it is an absolutely gorgeous perfume.

Viva La Juicy– Juicy Couture’s fragrance is a fruity/floral scent that is really pleasant.

Coach Poppy Flower– A sweet perfume that is long-lasting and smells delicious.

The One by Dolce & Gabbana– I also have this in the men’s cologne. Dolce fragrances are amongst the best and I really dig this one in particular. Sexy.

Escape by Calvin Klein– One of Calvin Klein’s hit fragrances from the 90s. Still amazing.

Paris by Yves Saint Laurent– Another classic scent from YSL.

Bvlgari Pour Femme– A clean, floral fragrance that is highly feminine. Great stuff.

Gucci Guilty– Probably not for every occasion, best for a night out. Sexy and will capture attention.

Conclusion

This is by no means an exhaustive list but should point you in the right direction towards some of the best smelling women’s fragrances available. There are plenty of different options here to fit many different lifestyles and tastes, so give them a try.

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Following the No Contact Rule with Your Ex-Girlfriend after Break Up

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Men aren’t always the most emotional creatures, so when we do experience a flood of emotions, we don’t particularly know how to deal with them. Time helps to heal the pain, if you allow it to do so, and don’t wallow in your own self-pity. Know that there are 4 billion or so women on this planet and while I’m sure your ex-girlfriend was cool, there will be others that you will be happier with.

Time to Heal

Giving yourself time away from the ex and all of your habits (calling, texting, hanging out) that you had with her, is a really good idea to help move on emotionally. For younger guys especially, if you haven’t had to deal with much heartache before, know that no matter how bad it hurts, it does get better. I’ve been in the same spot you are now when I was younger and quite frankly, I don’t even think about those girls, they are just memories. Also see: How to Deal with Loneliness after a Break Up

Keep the Memories Positive

Speaking of memories, even if things ended badly, focus on the good times you had together and accept them as the past. You gain nothing by seeking revenge, it is only a waste of energy on your part, and makes you an asshole. Never burn bridges, don’t contact them unless there is a legit necessity (kids are involved or you still need to maintain a professional relationship), and if they contact you then be cordial but don’t linger and start venting.

Helps You Grow the F Up

Change is an opportunity to grow and mature. Calling your ex all the time is not maturing or growing, it just gets sad after a while. You might be sad and/or angry right now, but the only way to move on with your life is to remove the stimulus for those feelings as much as possible. Meaning, if you expect your life to stay the same or don’t grow as a person, then you’ll end up as one of those guys who goes on for years crying about the ‘one who got away’. Do you want that to be your future? Just giving up because some chick dumped you? (see: How to Get Over Your Ex)

If you’ve had other girlfriends before this, do you still miss them all that much? Probably not. Why? You’re a different person then you were at that time. I know none of my exes would be a good fit for me now but they worked (‘worked’ is a questionable word here) for that time in my life. At some point, enough time has passed and your two paths have forked enough, that she won’t even be on your mind and it won’t hurt at all. My best advice is to make this time after breaking up about you. Focus on getting better, taking on new challenges, and having new experiences (How to Lucid Dream Instantly). Yes, it will take time to not feel like crap all the time but that time comes faster when you don’t dwell on the past and focus on the now. (When to Break Up with Your Girlfriend)

Clear Your Head

It is easy sometimes to go a few days or weeks without contact and then suddenly something happens. Either you crack and send a text or she calls you out of the blue and don’t know how to react. The No Contact Rule is designed to help you clear your mind without their influence. In essence, learn how to live without them in your life. Trying to carry on as if nothing changed is a poor bet and you’ll probably just end up feeling lousy about everything. This strategy helps you come to terms with how things are now and lessens the pain with time.

Best Chance to Get them Back

Calm down. I know you really want them back right now but you need to leave things alone for the time being. No contact not only helps to make you seem less desperate but it also helps you to decide your next move once the pain starts to fade away. I would advise not getting back together with an ex once you’re broken up because it never really is the same. There is a reason or many reasons why the relationship is over and a majority of the time it is a good thing that it is finished. See: Do You Want Your Ex-Girlfriend Back?

If You Really Still Want Her Back…

Some guys find that even after they’ve prepared themselves emotionally to move on and had other women in their lives, they still believe that she was the right fit for them.

If it’s the case that you’re in a good spot emotionally and you still feel like she is the one, perhaps you consider a program to help rekindle things between the two of you. The Magic of Making Up is a full ebook program designed to assist in mending broken relationships. Over 50,000 people have given it a try, visit here to read successful user testimonials and further information about making up with your ex. Here is a brief  video presentation from the book’s author:

The Magic of Making Up, comes with a full 60-day money back guarantee. So, if you are so inclined  to try it out, there’s nothing to lose!

Conclusion

Keep the contact to a minimum as possible to let yourself heal. Undertake efforts to grow as a person and meet other women (Get a Girlfriend in College). It’s funny because not only do those things help you get over your ex faster but it’s the best way to get them back. It doesn’t always happen but sometimes she does come back but usually by that point you have moved on with your life and don’t want her. It’s happened to me where No Contact got a girl to come back (I didn’t want them) and it’s also happened that she never did come back. Either way it gave me the opportunity to meet other girls and more time to focus on my growth and things I wanted to accomplish, neither of which was happening while I was in those doomed relationships.

Following the No Contact Rule is hard. Take it day by day and do what you need to in order to stick with it. Block her number, change your number, be chill if you can’t avoid seeing her. You are trying to wean yourself from this addiction to her you have developed and having constant communication is only going to serve to keep your wounds open. It is a process that can drive you crazy but if you can stick with it you will get results and get back to living a good life again.

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Visual Impact Cardio Review: My Experiences with the Program

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I have been working out at home for the past few months or so and my workouts consisted of dumbbells and doing Insanity: The Asylum for my cardio needs. However, I wanted to get back into the gym and since my alma mater offers memberships for so cheap, I took the plunge and just bought one a few weeks ago. The first few weeks were spent doing a moderate amount of lifting to get my muscles back (push ups don’t prepare for the soreness after the first chest workout) and getting acclimated to the cardio workouts found in Visual Impact Cardio. Visual Impact Cardio is a fat loss program designed by Rusty Moore who has been involved in the fitness industry for years and has put out great men’s and women’s programs in the past few years. Visual Impact Cardio, on the other hand, was specifically written to achieve fat loss quickly through 8 week cycles of cardiovascular exercise.

Testing out the workouts in this program has been tough but in a weird way they have been fun. It has been a Thanksgiving holiday schedule at my gym this week, so I’ve had to make due with home workouts, but I am already looking forward to my Visual Impact Cardio workout tomorrow night. Yes, I am looking forward to getting on a treadmill tomorrow, I find myself loving the challenging lactic threshold intervals. Also, I like the specificity of the workouts because when left to my own devices I may come up with some random cardio workout, if I do any at all. This way I have a set workout that I know going into the day I must get through and so I just put in my headphones and get to work. For this post, I want to lay out what information is included in Visual Impact Cardio and what to expect if you are considering undertaking it.

Contents

After a brief introduction, Rusty breaks down two heavily cited studies that people often use as evidence that shorter cardio sessions are more effective at burning calories than steady state cardio. The first study, Rusty writes, called the Tabata Study, wasn’t even a measure of calories or fat burned. The Tabata Study was a measure of VO2 max (aerobic capacity), and while it increased a participants VO2 max, it was not the most effective way to burn fat. (He breaks the whole thing down in the book, much better than my short attempt).

The second study, Rusty cites, presents a measure of the so-called “afterburn effect”. Simply put, the amount of extra calories your body burns after you finish exercising. The point being, that the people who subscribe to doing  only the short interval cardio training, are misinformed about how many extra calories they are really burning. He says that the participants in the study who did these high-intensity intervals for short periods of time, only lost 0.2 lbs in 15 weeks!

Also, while high-intensity exercise does produce a greater afterburn effect, it amounts to roughly 14% of total calories burned during a workout. Meaning, a 30 minute high-intensity workout burning 400 calories, ends up with a 56 calorie post-workout burn versus roughly 49 extra calories burned for an hour of steady state cardio.

While this program certainly uses and advocates high-intensity interval training, Rusty is pointing out that the afterburn effect and short cardio craze are both overstated. Visual Impact Cardio utilizes a multitude of intensity levels and time intervals.

The next few chapters introduce the idea of the lactic acid threshold and what Rusty likes to call the “Average Intensity Level”, which is extremely important for understanding the amount of calories burned during steady state cardio versus high intensity intervals. He does a great job at explaining these concepts in layman’s terms but they do serve as the basis of the thought behind the program so it will be important to really understand them. He introduces more information on how fat is burned and the role of glycogen. Rusty also explains that this program is designed to fit as a lifestyle and not simply a quick-fix diet, which is why you get to have the weekends off to have fun.

After laying the foundations and introducing the thinking behind the program, Rusty, introduces the day by day guide of the beginners cycle. Followed by the 8 week cycle at the intermediate level, and the special 8 week hell (haha) of the advanced workout cycle.  You get to choose the type of cardio you do (I run some days and use the elliptical on others) but the program presents to you the amount of time spent total on that days workout, the interval timing, and the intensity in terms of lactic threshold you need to do. Each day in the schedule is accounted for, you get rest when there needs to be a rest day and you push harder when it’s called for.

Here is a breakdown of the chapters found in Visual Impact Cardio:

1: Calories Burned After Exercise Don’t Amount to Much

2: Focus on Calories Burned During the Workout

3: Calories Burned: Intervals vs. Steady State

4: A 1 Page Interval Training Summary

5: How Interval Training Actually Works

6: Calorie Deficit, Calories Burned, and Fat Loss

7: Burning Stubborn Body Fat

8: Calories, Food, and Workout Timing

9: Improving Popular Fat Loss Programs

10: Separating Fat Loss and Resistance Training

11: Visual Impact Cardio Preparation

12: The Beginner’s Cycle

13: The Intermediate Cycle

14: The Advanced Cycle

15: The Maintenance Plan

16: Final Thoughts

Try the Program Today by Clicking Here!

Answers to Some Possible Questions About Visual Impact Cardio

How Long Does it Take to Receive Visual Impact Cardio?

It’s an ebook program so once you’ve paid it will be emailed to you. You can start the program, immediately, if you want to.

Is This Program for Advanced Trainers or Can it be Done by Beginners?

The ebook features three workout cycles: beginner, intermediate, and advanced. Each of the three cycles lasts 8 weeks. So, any level of experience can take on Visual Impact Cardio. The advanced cycle is an 8 week cycle to take someone who is already lean and get them really cut for a special event. You can use the intermediate cycle consecutive times to get leaner if the first go round wasn’t enough. The beginning program gets you shedding fat fast and building up the endurance necessary for the intermediate program.

Does it Include a Diet Plan?

Visual Impact Cardio also goes into some detail about how you should eat but not necessarily what you should eat. While Rusty does gives some examples of dieting schemes and principles behind them, this program is not a diet plan. Visual Impact Cardio is a program designed to teach you how to lose fat and its three 8-week cycles certainly delivers on that.

Do You Need Access to a Gym for Visual Impact Cardio?

Not necessarily. However, cardio equipment is important for this program so whether that is at the gym or in your home, won’t make a difference. You can still do this program without cardio machines but it won’t be as effective because there is a need to keep track of intensity levels and measuring your lactic acid threshold. I think you’d still get good fat loss without machines though.

Does It Actually Work?

Yes, it works. All exercise burns calories, the key is burning enough calories, in an efficient way to promote fat loss. Even those abdominal machines you see on TV probably work (at strengthening abs) but they don’t burn the necessary calories to get rid of that belly fat. What’s the point of developing your abs if a layer of fat is covering them up? Also, any reasonable exercise plan will work based on the amount of effort and consistency a person puts into it. Some exercise plans will work better because they are based on science and are undertaken in an effective manner. Visual Impact Cardio lays out the reasoning behind the entire program and then offers you 24 weeks of workouts and how to maintain your results after whatever cycle you finish with.

How Many Workouts per Week?

The program is on a Monday-Friday schedule, so either 4 or 5 days per week depending on that week’s level of intensity. Each workout last from 30 minutes to an hour.

Can You Lift Weights Along with Doing Visual Impact Cardio?

I don’t see why not. I’m still lifting weights three or four days a week but I’m not going crazy with it either. Rusty Moore also has the original Visual Impact Muscle Building program, which could be stacked with the cardio. You’d probably have to re-configure the workouts though. If you have your own weight training routine, I doubt you’d gain very much muscle while doing Visual Impact Cardio but you would probably get great definition. If you want to gain mass, you might consider doing a bulk using something like the original Visual Impact, and then follow that up with Visual Impact Cardio to get really cut.

Conclusion

There you have it guys, a basic introduction to the Visual Impact Cardio program.  Like I said before, the results you get will reflect the level of dedication you had during the program. These 8 week cycles will definitely help to shed the fat and after that you can easily maintain your results with a decent diet and a few workout sessions per week. Rusty says in the book, if you slip up after you’ve finished the program and gained 10 pounds, then simply start a new cycle to get back to where you want to be. If you are looking for a challenging workout that will burn off the fat fast, then you should definitely consider giving Visual Impact Cardio a try.

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How to Dress for College Men

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There are many guys out there who are completely clueless about clothes and style. It’s a disappointing fact that men’s confidence level and even success with attracting women could be boosted if they would only pay attention to the clothes they wear every day and while out at bars and clubs. In college, the competition amongst guys who dress well is sparse indeed. Just walk around on any college campus and you will see the same repetitive looks or slovenly appearances that aren’t doing these guys any favors. This post is going to serve as an introduction on how to dress while in college or when you don’t have too much money but the principles are applicable to those of you who have money to spend as well.  The key of this approach is to keep your wardrobe both simple and versatile, so even if you don’t have much money, you can still look great. Also see: Getting a GF in College

Common Men’s Fashion Problems

The way that you are dressed will have some effect on how people perceive you. The problem for many guys is that they are either unaware of how they dress is having consequences on their appearance or they simply don’t care. It may be a shallow part of life, but, how you dress will have an impact on how you are both treated and the amount of attention you receive from the opposite sex.

The Size of the Clothes

For most guys, the fit of their clothes generally runs on the too baggy side of the equation. Other guys opt for clothes that are too tight. Either way, you are completely hurting you look by not getting the right fit. Don’t believe me? Go to your closet and find a shirt that you know is too baggy. Try it on. Then try on a shirt that is more fitted to your body. Notice the difference? Baggy clothes make your body lost in a sea of cloth; they sag, and just make you look bad all around. If you’re overweight, I know you may think the baggy clothes will help to hide your body, but the larger sizes just make you seem bigger. If you’re in that boat, consider getting into shape, and finding clothes that fit and help you look your best. The most important thing about the size of your clothes is simply trying things on in front of a mirror. Even t-shirts of the same tag size can look way different depending on how the shirt was cut. For instance, I know that Adidas shirts tend to look really blocky on me because I am tall but other shirts have a great fit with the appropriate length. How your clothes fit is the single most important aspect of having style and looking good. I don’t care if you have a $300 dress shirt, if it isn’t fitted properly, I can grab a $20 dress shirt at Target that is fitted for my body and will look way better. Oh, by the way, you totally can rock a $20 shirt and attract women left and right.

Color

There are two factors to consider with color: your skin tone and how you will coordinate it with the rest of your outfit. Based on your skin tone, there are colors that will make you look terrible and others that will just work perfectly. Personally, with my fair skin, I know that red (if I don’t offset it with something else) will make me look washed out. This is a very important concept to grasp. Some colors work well with fair skin while others work better with dark skin. It’s not that you can’t wear certain colors at all, you just have to be able to not go overboard with it. Here’s quick article about color and skin tone. Color coordination is another big factor for dressing well. Your shirt may be perfect in fit and color for your skin tone but paired with the wrong pants, your outfit will look awkward. Color coordination takes some time to learn but once you’ve established the basics you’ll get the hang of it: Color coordination.

Spending too Much On One Piece

Having a signature piece of fashion such as a watch is great. However, when you have a limited budget it doesn’t make sense to spend a lot on one shirt, so that you have no money left over to complete your wardrobe. When you’re on a tighter budget you will have to look around and leverage sales and other special offers to add pieces of clothing to your rotation. That $80 shirt may be nice but you aren’t going to wear it seven days a week. So, find some less expensive items that you can turn into multiple looks with ease.

Clothing Categories for Your Wardrobe

Fitted T-Shirts Fitted t-shirts are the most basic staple of a man’s wardrobe and can be used for a super casual look. Gap and Calvin Klein have some really good fitted t-shirts that aren’t too expensive, as does American Apparel.  White and black are the colors that you should have. You can wear these t-shirts with jeans or pants, and include sneakers or boots. Doesn’t get much simpler than that.

Graphic T-Shirts The next step up from a basic t-shirt. As I’ve said before, fit and color are important when considering what clothes to buy but try to keep your graphic tees unique as well. Skip those ‘logo tees’ you see at places like American Eagle or Aeropostale because they are so bland and commonplace. Those designer t-shirts with the design house logo or emblem on it are a waste of money too, why pay 50-100 bucks just for that? Urban Outfitters usually has some good graphic tees in stock, though they can be hit and miss. Here are some graphic tees from around the web that’ll work well as an example:

Where to buy graphic tees: Karmaloop, Urban Outfitters, Pac Sunwear, Topman

Button Ups/Dress Shirts These should be a staple in your wardrobe. Button-up shirts can be worn casually or when you need to dress up. When it’s cold these shirts can be layered with a pull over sweater and when it warm they can be worn alone with a pair of shorts. If you go to college night at a bar or club, you will see many guys wearing an oversized polo or really tight muscle t-shirt. A simple way to stand out is by opting for something like an Oxford shirt, un-tucked with the sleeves rolled up. Pair that with an accessory like a watch and some unique shoes and you will have an effortless look. As far as colors go a light blue shade works well with a variety of different pants and shoe colors, so that should be a definite. Gingham and plaids can be versatile additions as well. Here are some shirt examples:

Sweaters

Pull-over sweaters are important during the colder months of the year. They can be worn over a t-shirt or with a collared button-up to layer. Use color coordination to layer your shirts, so for instance, wear a gingham shirt and a navy or black pull-over to really help the collared shirt stand out. Honestly, an Old Navy pull-over is passable and can look quite nice when paired correctly.

Jeans

You don’t have to wear skinny jeans, just find pairs that fit. Different washes and cuts will give you different looks, so have a few on hand in order to mix and match with your shirts. If you have the money, consider investing in some designer jeans because the quality and durability can be noticeably better. Levi’s makes great jeans that fit well and won’t fall apart on you like some others will.

Pants

Start with the basic black and khaki. From there add shades of tan, brown, and grey. While you can get away with a more baggy fit with jeans, pants should be fitted so that you get a good look with them.

Belts

Have one brown and one black as a minimum.

Shoes

Here’s basically what I try to have in my shoe collection: (one pair of each) trainer, white sneaker, nice boots, dress shoes. I’ll buy others as funds allow but that’s the basic setup. Basic white sneakers are pretty versatile, so when you don’t have too much money, they are a safe bet to get the most bang for your buck. Here are a few styles I like:

Trainers/Sneakers are good for both working out and a more casual look. Going to class and just hanging around campus are a few places to rock trainers. Also see, the Best Nike Running Shoes for Men

Boots can add a ton of style to a basic outfit. I’m not talking about cowboy boots or Lugz, rather, a pair of stylish boots that can be worn casually or with something more dressy. Here are some options in boots:

Grooming

It’s not all about what you wear, in fact, a lot of what determines how you look has nothing to do with the clothes at all. The length of your hair and its style can have a dramatic effect on how you look and even how old people perceive you to be. Find a modern style that you could wear in several ways, not what happens to be trendy in the moment.

If you have facial hair, keep it neat and under control. Growing a beard or a moustache can really help to shape your face and give you an older look, however, it can look bad if not properly tended to.

Obviously, shower on a daily basis. Brush your teeth, floss, and rinse with mouthwash. Wash your face to keep you skin clear. Deodorant and a nice cologne which I have gone over here.

You can really take fashion as far as you want but you’ll always be well-dressed if you just keep it simple. Remember that fit and color will go a long way to making you look sharp, add in great grooming and you will have it at least 90% there. Get down the basics first and then you can expand and refine your style.

INTRODUCING ATTRACT YOUR DEVELOPMENT’S FIRST EBOOK

GAME WITHOUT GAMES: TRANSCENDING PICKUP ARTISTRY AND PURSUING ATTRACTION THROUGH CONSCIOUS PERSONAL GROWTH 

$2.99 on Amazon.com  (For Kindle) download the Kindle App for Free

 GAMEWITHOUTGAMES

Exploring the world of dating and so-called Pick-up Artistry, through the lens of the mind. Game without Games, from attractyourdevelopment.com, eschews traditional pickup advice and gets down to the core concepts of self including: fear, truth, connection, and desire. Taken from the author’s own personal experience in approaching, attracting, and dating women from age eighteen through his twenties, this book strips away all of the tips and tactics of the PUA community. Instead, this book focuses on personal development and cultivating what the ancient Stoic philosophers referred to as the internal.

With a greater inner strength and by focusing on developing one’s life in totality, attraction occurs naturally by becoming a ‘desirable man’. Game then is about expressing of oneself and exploring who she is, instead of trying to remember lame pick-up lines or tricks and tactics to get laid. Things become natural and flow from the relaxed and confident state of the man. He has control of his mental faculties and thus can accept life and social interactions on his own terms. Not chasing women or putting up with disrespect or other nonsense.

If you want to learn how to talk to girls, in a step by step format…go elsewhere. However, if you want to explore the mental side of game and the letting go of pickup dogma, Game without Game might be the book for you.

Exercising but Not Losing Weight: Solutions to Shed Belly Fat

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At some point in time, I think that most people get fed up with how they look and feel and decide to undergo a body transformation. Initially, the increase in physical activity almost always leads to both weight loss and fat loss. However, at some point, perhaps rather quickly, the fat won’t go away and the belly in the mirror feels like it is just mocking you. It can be extremely frustrating to put forth lots of effort for multiple weeks straight and not see any noticeable change to your body composition. The good news is that if you stick with exercising and focus on addressing the common problems that hinder weight loss, then you can melt that fat away and have the body you want. By addressing the following issues and getting your program in order, you should have no problem with meeting your goals.

Plateauing

If you saw significant fat loss for the majority of the time when you started your exercise and diet program, and now nothing, there is a good chance that you have hit a weight loss plateau. The human body is quite adept at adaptation and as such can get used to the exercise and dietary demands you are putting it through. It can be a good idea, to switch up the exercises you include in your workout routine or try switching up things like the amount of weight, lifting tempo, amount of rest in between sets, etc. For instance, if you lift weights and have a chest/back day, why not throw in supersets to make the routine more challenging? Meaning, you would do your set for the chest and then immediately start a set for a back exercise. This shortens the rest and gives the workout a more cardiovascular element than keeping the two exercises completely separated.

Not Enough Time Spent

In contrast to plateauing, there are people who are way too impatient. They think that because they’ve worked out and dieted for a month they should be totally chiseled. Sorry but it doesn’t work that way. It probably took months or years to accumulate that fat, so why would it disappear in 4 weeks time? I’m not saying that it will take equally as long to lose weight but it does take time to undo all of your mistakes and figure out what the right type of fat loss plan is for you. There have been times where I’ve stopped going to the gym and put on weight and once I got back into the gym, the first month saw very little results and then things started clicking after that. So have patience.

Sleep

People severely underestimate the importance of sleep in their lives. During sleep, your body releases hormones that repair and build muscle, and some of the major releases only occur during certain parts of the sleep cycle. Meaning that, if you’re not getting enough sleep, you won’t get the optimal level of hormone release. Muscle growth and recovery are highly important in achieving your fitness goals but sleep also helps with your mood. Think about it. Aren’t you grumpy when you’re tired? Do you care as much or feel as motivated to stick with your diet? It’s more likely you don’t really care because your mind is so occupied with sleep and feeling fog that clouds your thoughts. Get enough sleep!

Not Enough Cardio

Cardio can be boring, especially when you don’t want to do it. The problem with that attitude is that it is the most efficient way to burn calories and is great for your overall health. There are plenty of ways to do cardio including sports, exercise classes, hiking, and other activities.

Many people only do one specific type of cardio, such as steady state (walking on the treadmill for example), and then don’t see the results they want. The key is to switch up the intensity, vary the exercises and the amount of time you spend doing it.

Trainer, Rusty Moore, has a great cardio program for fat loss called Visual Impact Cardio. I have been using its principles for the past two weeks (read my review), since I’ve gotten a new gym membership, and have loved the results. It is a full step by step plan that breaks down what cardio exercises you will do each day to maximize fat loss. What I love about Rusty’s program, is that the workout challenges me on each day in a different way. One day will be for VO2 max, another will be interval training, pyramids, and the like. Visual Impact Cardio consists of three 8-week cycles (6 months total) that you can adjust and keep using for as long as you want.

Visual Impact Cardio shows you:

  • How to Diet in a way that Maximizes Fat Loss, with little chance of metabolism slow down.
  • How to use Cardio Periodization Cycles…the technique where you “take 3 steps forward and 1 step back”…to Lose Body Fat Without Hitting Sticking Points.
  • Why there is a Ceiling to How Many Calories You Can Burn with Intervals…and how adding in a Strategic Cardio Routine can take you to the finish line of hitting your fat loss goals.
  • Three Complete 8-Week Workout Cycles – taking you from where you are now…ALL THE WAY to your ideal body fat percentage.

Get Instant Access to Visual Impact Cardio by: CLICKING HERE


Too Many Calories

Just because you are working out doesn’t mean that you can eat whatever you want and expect to lose weight. In order to lose fat, you need to create a caloric deficit, which can be done through more exercise (burning calories) or reducing the number of calories eaten. Your workouts don’t burn as many calories as you think they do, so yes, even if you work out that piece of cake can come back to bite you. Research online your daily maintenance calories and try to slowly reduce it. Another way to lose fat without counting calories is to switch over from processed foods to good sources of protein, complex carbs, and fats. Green veggies should be a staple in your diet. Be careful not to restrict calories too much because that can make you hold on to fat as your body wants to preserve every calorie, which will lead to a lack of results.

Lift Weights

There are a ton of people who head to the gym, do some light cardio on the elliptical for 30 minutes, and then head home. These people may see results, but they aren’t maximizing what they could be doing. Lifting weights helps strengthen muscles, grow muscles (which burns more calories even at rest), and helps to shape your body.

If you want to give your body a certain aesthetic look then you need to engage in weight lifting. Simply doing cardio can make you look skinny and flat. Also, why not engage in something like weight lifting that can help you to burn more calories and also helps to release hormones like testosterone which can help with mood, motivation, muscle building, etc.

 

You Haven’t Been Consistent

Sticking with the program both by performing each of your scheduled workouts and keeping your diet in order is absolutely imperative while trying to lose weight. Too many people treat exercise and nutrition as something that is temporary and that they can achieve great results by putting forth mediocre effort. I’m sorry but it isn’t going to work very well with that kind of attitude. You became overweight in the first place due to your lifestyle and you are going to try to lose weight and keep it off by temporarily changing some habits? The negative effects of how you have been living your life must be addressed if you are truly going to make a life altering change in your body and health. So if you have been sticking to an exercise routine and diet during the weekdays and then let yourself have free reign to eat like a slob on the weekends you are pretty much letting most of your hard work go to waste.

Be consistent with everything, you can still treat yourself every once in a while but do so in moderation and pay attention to the nutritional content of the foods that you eat. I found out when I was younger that once I educated myself about proper nutrition I became way less likely to eat the foods that would have an ill effect on my health and appearance. As an added bonus I lost over 30 lbs and stay fairly lean year round just by sticking with the plan I have laid out for myself and when beach season starts to creep up I never have to do anything dramatic in order to look my best, just make minor adjustments.

Losing weight takes a deal of effort to accomplish but it’s not impossible. If you searched for an article explaining why you aren’t losing weight, then you were probably getting frustrated with your results. You need to stay positive and stick with it because the changes you desire will come but it doesn’t happen overnight. Address the problems that I have listed above, in a serious manner, either through your own research or by using a program like Rusty Moore’s. Whatever route you take, accept that this is a lifestyle change and not simply a crash course diet where you lose weight and then gain it all back, only to have to start the cycle again.

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How to Set Up a Niche Website on Hostgator: Step by Step

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In the last post in my passive income series, I went over how to get ideas for a niche website. In this post, I want to discuss how to set up a website step by step from scratch. In order to set up a website, you will need a host (most of whom cost under $7 per month). I use Hostgator for all of my websites, so I will be relating this from the point of view of that company’s perspective user. I will take you through the domain buying process, selecting a plan that works for you, how to set up WordPress, and any other incidentals that I come across so that you can set up a website and get to work quickly.

Choosing a Domain Name

This is the most important step of this process, after choosing the niche you intend to tackle. I’m not going to go into detail about choosing a domain name in this post, however, this is something you need to strongly consider before moving ahead.

If you are creating a website solely for affiliate (money making) purposes then the ideal is to use the keyword in your title. For instance, if you are creating a website about swimming goggles, then the website should have some variation of ‘best swimming goggles’, ‘top swimming goggles’, or ‘best swimming goggles for (activity) in the title.

If, however, you are creating a personal blog then you will want to consider something that is brandable and memorable. This site, is in the personal development niche, but doesn’t really fit the typical niche site mold. In a case like this, I utilized the word development in my domain name, and somewhat targeted the keyword ‘personal development blog’ but you won’t find me on the first 10 pages of Google for that search. My traffic comes from other sources and the content of my individual blog posts, so for a more personal site the main keyword targeting in the domain name really won’t be all that important.

How to Set Up Your Website

1. Choosing a Hosting Plan

The first step will be to Hostgator’s website and sign up for an account. From there you will need to get a hosting plan that best fits your needs. Hostgator has three options: Hatchling, Baby, and Business.

Hatchling is for those who only plan to host one domain on their servers.

Baby is a few dollars more a month but you can host as many websites as you want.

Business plans come with a few extra perks such as a Private IP address. (ecommerce websites)

I started out with Hatchling but quickly needed to upgrade to the Baby plan because I wanted to create multiple websites and therefore multiple streams of income. It’s well worth the extra money to get yourself a Baby plan because you’ll be able to have an unlimited number of sites and will only have to purchase individual domain names after that.

I recommend using Hostgator because everything has always gone smoothly with them. The one time I had a problem with processing a domain I bought, I used the online help chat and my issue was resolved really quickly and professionally. They didn’t give me any run around or make me wait forever.

2. Choosing a Domain Name (For Keeps this Time)

After you choose your plan, Hostgator will ask you to provide a domain name. Now, you can either register a new domain name through Hostgator (they will tell you if your domain name is available) or if you already own a domain name there is an option for that as well.

Once you have gotten your domain name, Hostgator will ask for your billing info and other payment information (pretty self-explanatory).

3. Hostgator Sends You an Email

After you register your domain name and do all the payment stuff, Hostgator will send you an email with all of your information for your website. THIS IS IMPORTANT INFO (so write it down and save it).

Your control panel link that they send you is what you will type into your browser in order to get access to and set up your site initially.

Your name servers are important because they are what you will need to be pointed properly in order to access your website once it’s up. No one will be able to visit your domain if the name servers aren’t correctly pointed. If you registered your domain with Hostgator they should be pointed correctly, if you bought a domain from somewhere else or it’s screwed up for some reason then read this information: http://support.hostgator.com/articles/hosting-guide/lets-get-started/dns-name-servers/what-are-my-name-servers

4. Go to the CPanel

Using the link that Hostgator send you, sign into your Control Panel using your name and password.

The CPanel will have a whole lot of options and things that you can explore later. For now, scroll down to the section entitled Software/Services and click on Fantastico Deluxe (the one with the smiley logo).

5. Fantastico Deluxe

In Fantastico Deluxe, we will be installing WordPress for our website. WordPress is really simple to use and highly customizable with widgets and plenty of support to help you out.

On the left hand side of Fantastico under the section called Blogs, click on the WordPress option. Once the new page loads, click on where it says “New Installations”.

On the next screen, choose your new domain from the drop down menu, this will be the site you install WordPress on. Leave the field called “Install in Directory” blank. Then fill out the rest of the information as required. Click on install WordPress.

6. Accessing Your Site

WordPress is now installed on your site. In order to access and begin work on your website type the following into your internet browser:

“yourdomainname”(dot)com/wp-admin

So for instance, if you registered the domain name as booblestooble(dot)com then each time you want to edit the site or add new information you’d log in at:

“booblestooble(d0t)com/wp-admin”

Conclusion

You are now ready to begin work on your website. By default WordPress will give you a template that your blog will use until you change it. You can upload a free template to your site or buy one that has all the bells and whistles a regular website will have.

I will go further into customization and what kind of widgets your WordPress site will have but this should get you started with at least setting up the website and the whole registration process.

Further posts in this series:

Finding Niche Website Ideas

How to Make Money with a Niche Website

How to Create Passive Income Online

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Best Smelling Cologne for Men: Top Sellers and Best Fragrance

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Cologne and fragrance advertisements can be a bit ridiculous sometimes with their scenes of women trying to rip the clothes off a well-scented man. Cologne isn’t meant to be the sole attraction device or a magic formula, rather, it should be subtle and non-verbal invitation for a woman to get closer. Yes, the right scent can make her want to draw closer, but too often guys either pick a terrible cologne or go overboard with the amounts they use. There are untold thousands of colognes available on the market, so trying to figure out which one is the best or which one you will personally like can take some time. Just grabbing the most popular cologne will sometimes make you undistinguishable from every other guy out there when it can be good to have a unique or signature scent that works well anywhere and can drive girls wild (I make no promises). For this post, I want to create a sort of guide for choosing the right cologne for you, present the best-selling colognes, and my own personal picks so you can copy my style if you so choose.

Be sure to also check out my other post on clothing for men:

How to Dress Well in College 

 

 

Choosing the Best Cologne for You

It is important to understand that the scent of cologne is not static, meaning, it changes based on time and body chemistry. Like any other fashion choice, cologne also has to be tailored for specific functions and social events. For instance, a stronger scent, probably shouldn’t be worn at work or at least the amount should be way less than normal. At a night club, however, cologne that has a sexy kind of vibe would work because it can command attention (hopefully in a good way).

Cologne has different layers of varying scents that are referred to as notes. Over time these notes (3 in total) come out to present the cologne’s full fragrance. A cologne like Opium by YSL, really disappointed me when I first opened the bottle, however, it settled after a few minutes and turned into a really great Vanilla scent with hints of some Middle Eastern spice. The cologne that I wore didn’t resemble at all my first impressions upon smelling the fragrance from the bottle.

When you try out colognes give them close to an hour to settle and see how you feel about the scent after that time. You may discover that the cologne has shifted into a different scent then you expected or that the great cologne you found tends to evaporate quickly. Either way take some time so that you don’t make an expensive purchase you won’t end up using. Also, most places, even online retailers, have small samples of cologne for free or for a few bucks so that you can try it out for a few days to really see how it reacts to your body.

Once you have sorted out a few colognes that you like the smell of then it is time to consider some other factors. What is your lifestyle like? If you spend you’re days sitting in an office or in a classroom you probably don’t want something very strong that will overpower and annoy those around you. In those situations you might opt for something a bit more subtle and light, perhaps a citrus blend of fragrance. Knowing where you’ll be is important because some colognes aren’t for everyday situations and are more for the nightlife or more romantic endeavors. For this reason it may be that you should consider buying more than one bottle of cologne in smaller sizes so that you can choose the best one for the right occasion. Also, the weather is a factor in what kind of cologne you should wear because some fragrances have a tendency to evaporate quickly or change in hotter temperatures and you might not get the desired effect.

How Do You Wear Cologne and How Much Is Too Much?

We’ve all had experiences in which someone has walked by us and left a trail of cologne in their wake and most of the time they are wearing the cheapest and most nauseating fragrance that you can imagine. This gentleman is what we want to avoid. Remember that no cologne is always better than too much cologne. So what is the right amount? Two sprays is usually quite adequate to be smelling great but not having people gasping for air in your presence. In fact people should only be able to smell you when they are within a few feet or leaning in for close conversation. Look at it as if it was clothing, loud fabrics and bright colors will get you attention but it isn’t the type of attention you want.

As far as areas of the body where you should spray keep it basic, the neck, wrists, or chest. Do not spray your clothes with cologne because it can damage the fabric or stain it completely.

What are the Best Selling Colognes?

*Note: I’ve linked each cologne to fragrancex.com,

 ***Get FREE SHIPPING  on your order at Fragrancex.com by using coupon code: F123***

Also, check out: Top Colognes for Under $30

Need to get something for the lady? Best Smelling Perfumes for Women, Top Perfumes for Women 2014

Acqua Di Gio– Has been popular for years and for good reason. Seems like everyone has this cologne but I really do enjoy this one. Pretty expensive and not really unique but it’s hard to go wrong with Acqua Di Gio.

Dolce & Gabbana (Sample size available)- The titular scent of this company. It’s nice but not the best scent from this company in my opinion.

Burberry Brit– A pretty sophisticated scent and not too overpowering. Nice, clean, and modern. Burberry seems to always come out with some great colognes. Brit is a versatile cologne that is appropriate for just about any occasion.

Drakkar Noir– (Sample size available) I’m personally not crazy about this one but people seem to like it, as it always sells well.

Curve by Liz Claiborne– (Sample Size Available) Usually a best-seller. Lavender-type smell with a hint of spice. I like this stuff and have used some before, it’s really a pleasant scent.

Polo– Polo has a real outdoorsy and masculine smell to it. A classic fragrance that debuted in the 1970s.

Joop!- Joop! seems like it was made for the night life and is also inexpensive. Not terrible but not my cup of tea either. Try a sample and see if it works for you.

L’Eau D’Issey by Issey Miyake– Has a strong scent that people like. I enjoy it as well but it’s definitely not my go to bottle of cologne, too overpowering sometimes.

 

Other Best-Sellers I’m not Familiar With

– JeanPaul Gaultier

– CK One

– Hugo

 

What is the Best Smelling Men’s Cologne in My Opinion?

Well taste in cologne is obviously going to be subjective but the following colognes are ones that I use and gotten great responses from women while wearing.

The One by Dolce & Gabbana– Alright, first of all, I love this scent. However, it tends to fade quickly which sucks because it really is fantastic. So, I can’t recommend buying a larger bottle of this because of how quick it evaporates but this to me has to rank in the best scents.

Creed Aventus (Available at Fragrancenet)– Creed is a brand known for colognes that smell amazing and Aventus is among the best it has to offer. Aventus features notes of black currant, French apples, Italian bergamot, royal pineapple, and Moroccan jasmine. Here is a list of the top six Creed fragrances for men.

Kourous Body by YSL– Girls seem to love this cologne, as I have received many complements about it. It blends incense and eucalyptus that gives it a fairly sweet smell. Also, it’s not too well known either, most people who ask me what I’m wearing have never heard of it.

Armani Code– This is another best-selling cologne but its popularity is well-deserved. It’s clean and not overpowering but it will draw complements.

L’Instant De Guerlain by Guerlain– With notes that include sandalwood and cocoa bean, this fragrance spells class, from the first wear. Not amongst the best sellers but it is a great find for those looking for something of a signature scent.

Burberry London– More of a woodsy smell. Very masculine and crisp. My favorite Burberry cologne, though I haven’t tried their latest one.

Egoiste Platinum by Chanel (Couldn’t find any available)– Chanel No. 5 is the classic ladies scent but Egoiste Platinum for men is amongst the best smelling colognes that I have ever come across.

Gucci Pour Homme– (Travel size Available for around $10) Very unique and just a fantastic fragrance. I don’t think they produce it anymore, though, you might still find a bottle.

Polo Blue– A really fresh scent that won’t overpower but will draw plenty of desired attention.

Conclusion

Okay, I’ve presented you with plenty of options to choose from and have given you my own opinion on the best scents. Keep in mind that not all colognes work for every guy and every lifestyle, so get the right scent for you. Remember that cologne should accentuate and not dominate. Keep the sprays to a minimum and never be obnoxious with the amount of cologne you wear.