Men aren’t always the most emotional creatures, so when we do experience a flood of emotions, we don’t particularly know how to deal with them. Time helps to heal the pain, if you allow it to do so, and don’t wallow in your own self-pity. Know that there are 4 billion or so women on this planet and while I’m sure your ex-girlfriend was cool, there will be others that you will be happier with.
Time to Heal
Giving yourself time away from the ex and all of your habits (calling, texting, hanging out) that you had with her, is a really good idea to help move on emotionally. For younger guys especially, if you haven’t had to deal with much heartache before, know that no matter how bad it hurts, it does get better. I’ve been in the same spot you are now when I was younger and quite frankly, I don’t even think about those girls, they are just memories. Also see: How to Deal with Loneliness after a Break Up
Keep the Memories Positive
Speaking of memories, even if things ended badly, focus on the good times you had together and accept them as the past. You gain nothing by seeking revenge, it is only a waste of energy on your part, and makes you an asshole. Never burn bridges, don’t contact them unless there is a legit necessity (kids are involved or you still need to maintain a professional relationship), and if they contact you then be cordial but don’t linger and start venting.
Helps You Grow the F Up
Change is an opportunity to grow and mature. Calling your ex all the time is not maturing or growing, it just gets sad after a while. You might be sad and/or angry right now, but the only way to move on with your life is to remove the stimulus for those feelings as much as possible. Meaning, if you expect your life to stay the same or don’t grow as a person, then you’ll end up as one of those guys who goes on for years crying about the ‘one who got away’. Do you want that to be your future? Just giving up because some chick dumped you? (see: How to Get Over Your Ex)
If you’ve had other girlfriends before this, do you still miss them all that much? Probably not. Why? You’re a different person then you were at that time. I know none of my exes would be a good fit for me now but they worked (‘worked’ is a questionable word here) for that time in my life. At some point, enough time has passed and your two paths have forked enough, that she won’t even be on your mind and it won’t hurt at all. My best advice is to make this time after breaking up about you. Focus on getting better, taking on new challenges, and having new experiences (How to Lucid Dream Instantly). Yes, it will take time to not feel like crap all the time but that time comes faster when you don’t dwell on the past and focus on the now. (When to Break Up with Your Girlfriend)
Clear Your Head
It is easy sometimes to go a few days or weeks without contact and then suddenly something happens. Either you crack and send a text or she calls you out of the blue and don’t know how to react. The No Contact Rule is designed to help you clear your mind without their influence. In essence, learn how to live without them in your life. Trying to carry on as if nothing changed is a poor bet and you’ll probably just end up feeling lousy about everything. This strategy helps you come to terms with how things are now and lessens the pain with time.
Best Chance to Get them Back
Calm down. I know you really want them back right now but you need to leave things alone for the time being. No contact not only helps to make you seem less desperate but it also helps you to decide your next move once the pain starts to fade away. I would advise not getting back together with an ex once you’re broken up because it never really is the same. There is a reason or many reasons why the relationship is over and a majority of the time it is a good thing that it is finished. See: Do You Want Your Ex-Girlfriend Back?
If You Really Still Want Her Back…
Some guys find that even after they’ve prepared themselves emotionally to move on and had other women in their lives, they still believe that she was the right fit for them.
If it’s the case that you’re in a good spot emotionally and you still feel like she is the one, perhaps you consider a program to help rekindle things between the two of you. The Magic of Making Up is a full ebook program designed to assist in mending broken relationships. Over 50,000 people have given it a try, visit here to read successful user testimonials and further information about making up with your ex. Here is a brief video presentation from the book’s author:
The Magic of Making Up, comes with a full 60-day money back guarantee. So, if you are so inclined to try it out, there’s nothing to lose!
Keep the contact to a minimum as possible to let yourself heal. Undertake efforts to grow as a person and meet other women (Get a Girlfriend in College). It’s funny because not only do those things help you get over your ex faster but it’s the best way to get them back. It doesn’t always happen but sometimes she does come back but usually by that point you have moved on with your life and don’t want her. It’s happened to me where No Contact got a girl to come back (I didn’t want them) and it’s also happened that she never did come back. Either way it gave me the opportunity to meet other girls and more time to focus on my growth and things I wanted to accomplish, neither of which was happening while I was in those doomed relationships.
Following the No Contact Rule is hard. Take it day by day and do what you need to in order to stick with it. Block her number, change your number, be chill if you can’t avoid seeing her. You are trying to wean yourself from this addiction to her you have developed and having constant communication is only going to serve to keep your wounds open. It is a process that can drive you crazy but if you can stick with it you will get results and get back to living a good life again.